Pick Up Starts When You Wake Up in the Morning

Today was my first day at my summer internship. I interned there last semester and knew what to expect. My whole day was as expected. So i went over to HR department later in the day, i was just in complete work mode and behind a cubicle was this super cute girl. I was in shock because no young people my age work there. I talked to her for like 5 minutes in isolation (the other HR woman had to get some papers) i fucked up a lot in the conversation because my mind was wandering way too much thinking how perfect this could be. I didn't even ask her relationship status or relate to her on a more emotional level. I know she goes to a jc and wants to go pre-med or after my suggestions a nurse, haha. At least I got my girl of the day, i'm gonna try and talk to her tomorrow cuz it will be the last time i will have real reason to come to the HR office (so far away from my office) then i can establish some more rapport and tell her i might drop by from time to time. I just wish i knew if she had a boyfriend... On the bright side before I probably would not have even initiated the conversation or knew what i did wrong after i did.

- Teddy out

Examining my Summer before its too Late

Useful summer activities: reading, working out, approaching girls, sarging, going on dates, partying, going to my internship, filling out applications for stuff, traveling, projects with friends, reading blogs and e-books, and updating my blog

Nuetral: hanging out with the same friends i hang with everyday/summer?.. fun at times but sometimes boring... old friends seem to have diminishing value at times, had many long conversations about this with Star

Useless summer activities: watching porn and jacking off, watching tv, listening to too much music, facebook/youtube, sleeping too much, complaining, playing computer/video games, drinking without a good reason

For every one useless thing i do a day i'm gonna try and do 2 useful things
I just finished the self confidence exercises and RJM questions... it is like 8 pages in word single spaced so i might post it later... maybe after Star posts a few things. Oh and I totally missed my hot girl of the day today.. I had like a two second chance to get her attention but she totally surprised me at trader joes, she was getting an item and running around the store and i was in line in a rush, most adorable girl too, kinda pissed at myself

- Teddy out

Update on Girl and my life

I decided I need to update this blog more than when I am just drunk and frustrated. These updates help get the shit that is on my mind out on paper and out of my everyday thoughts, kinda weird how it works. It gets rid of a lot of my AFC thinking too just not thinking or caring about the shit that happens and just being genuine. I remember I heard somewhere that: “being honest is not having to remember what you said” so it works well with me especially since I’ve been interacting so much more socially now that I actually cannot recall every remote detail from the conversation.

Another thing I realized is that I really shouldn’t get too drunk because I usually just end up doing stuff straight from The Game which never works for me, I dunno why I do it in retrospect instead of being purely confident and genuine which works way better.

Another Random Note:

I am sick of my parents always fighting with each. Every other day they have like 10 to 15 minutes of them being pissed off and yelling at each other over completely nothing.. they have nothing to be angry about, my dad has a great job and so does my mom, we have plenty of money and my mom and dad make big deals over stupid things like buying something or going to a dinner party… my parents are crazy and I am hating living at home.

Update on that girl I was supposed to have a date with:

So all my dates with that girl fell through. We both tried to schedule times to hang out but either I was busy or she was busy, which usually would just be an indicator that she doesn’t want to go on a date but it was during finals week in which no one usually has time for anything anyways. So after a weekend of flaking and some flirtatious phone calls ending in neither of us meeting up, I had a good TM conversation with her:

Me: I just met your twin (I actually did, not just using the line from magic bullets)

Her: Who might that be haha

Me: I don’t know I said hi **** and she was like nope and then smiled

Her: haha ive done that b4 what r u doin tonight?

Me: im studying and doing work for my finals and projects tomorrow morning.. I get out of finals at one tomorrow, you?

Her: Same (totally think she lied here, I mean why would she ask me what I’m doing tonight if she was busy anyways?.. unless… she meant same by being out of finals early)

Me: ***** **** after finals? (our fun specific date we had in mind for awhile)

Her: lets do it

(maybe I shouldn’t have ended the convo here.. I tend to end conversations too early with girls when I could just banter more with them but I don’t know if drawing a conversation out with her is too confident instead of just acting confident and that I have other more important things to do than just banter TM with her for a half an hour)

So after I finished my finals I texted her “you out yet” she didn’t respond and I called her like 3 hours later after I got done packing. She answered and said she had been lost on the beach for hours, her friend laughed in the background about it, I said it must have been a great adventure, we bantered for awhile. She asked what I was doing and I told her I was packing and then told her we missed our date, she said that she texted me back and said “let’s go” and I never called her back so she went to the beach. She is very self confident and not clingy which is one of the things I like about her. I told her I didn’t get it but whatever (my phone isn’t that great at receiving messages sometimes) and she said she’ll send it right now, I said it’s cool I have to leave soon anyway. I asked if she still had a time to go on our date and she said she had this dinner thing tonight with her friends parents who are graduating but I should drink and hang with her later tonight. I said I had to go (family travel stuff) and she told me not to go (FUCK!!), we then talked about what we were to do over summer, I forgot what she said. She said that if I’m in LA to call her cuz she will be there and that she might come up to the bay and definitely call me if she comes, I told her we’d go clubbing in the Marina if she came then we had an awkward well cya end to the convo.

Maybe I should have bantered more, I probably could have easily talked and joked with her for another 10 to 15 mins but I really don’t like long phone conversations that much plus I usually end the conversations once there is a little low to them.

Should I call her over summer randomly, text her, facebook message, do nothing? Any suggestions? I think I’ll call her when I see a midget cuz we have this inside joke with them. I’m sure I’ll see a midget sometime over summer and it’ll be a good time to call her and I’ll tell her that I just saw a midget and I thought of her, great banter to start off our convo and get her laughing.

Other than that:

I am now back to how every other summer has been I hang out with the three same guys and will sometimes see girls on weekends at parties at colleges or from our high school but more rarely. I might be able to try and get in with some girls I meet but it will be hard given the short number of social encounters I have with other girls, plus these short number of encounters put way more pressure on me cuz I am just in a cubicle at my internship all day and then I have to go out and meet girls only on weekends while drinking.. I’m pretty over it.

That’s why I decided to just do the hot girl of the day thing where at least I can hone my game during the day just telling girls how I feel about them and brightening their day and mine. My friends may think I’m crazy but whatever, they have way too many fucking stupid limiting beliefs which is really pissing me off as of late. This is also why I want to hang out with Star more this summer and go to malls and do our projects we have in mind (film and music videos).

I am working on the self examination thing from Dan at charisma arts. I almost finished that and I also just finished Magic Bullets, it was pretty good overall but I take some of it with a grain of salt. The phone game stuff really helps along with other specific topics covered. Looking at myself and reading more stuff from the community I think I’ll probably try and use a combination of the RJM and charisma arts method (the cocky funny stuff and NLP really doesn't fit my style, i really don't need to increase my inner game, i just need to change the kind of people i hang out with who are not on a path of self improvement and enlightenment). I am going to try and also finish the RJM (razorjack method) questions about myself as well. I am just starting on Juggler’s e-book right now and I am looking forward to reading through it.

- Teddy out